STUPID GENIUS

I'M SO DAMN PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN!! LOL

SO IT COMES TO PASS...I award my own country the USA the

MORON AWARD!

SWEET SORROW

iPOD SHUFFLE

If the celebs can play, so can I. Here are the first 10 songs to pop up on my iPOD on random shuffle.

1. Run Away--LIVE
2. Possum Kingdom--TOADIES
3. What You Need--INXS
4. We Didn't Start The Fire--BILLY JOEL
5. Whats The Frequency Kenneth--REM
6. Closer--NINE INCH NAILS
7. Appreciate Me--AMUKA
8. You Think You re A Man--FULL FRONTAL
9. Invincible--PAT BENETAR
10. When You Were Mine--CYNDI LAUPER

OH wow no Scissor Sisters popped up LOL. OK So here's the song that keeps playing over and over again in my brain right now for some reason. So Cruel--U2

HOLLOW POINT

Let me tell you why I HATE being in Baton Rouge.

• There is a church on every city block, sometimes TWO.


• There are about 20 Christian channels on the cable line-up.


• Everyone walks around with a crucifix around their neck or a Bible in their hand.


• All the girls look debutant-ish. You know, perfect teeth, perfect hair, make-up caked on.


• Its just kinda sterile...conservative...no fags running amok in the middle of the street.

NOT MY KIND OF PLACE!!!

So anyway, I was trying to relax one day and I was flipping thru the channels on the TV when I came across one of these aforementioned christian channels. I stopped because I saw Stephen Baldwin. You remember Stephen right? He was in my opinion the cutest Baldwin brother and probably the funnest cause he was just around TO HAVE FUN!! Oh God I can remember how much I loved him in the TV series Young Riders. *swoons* I mean why else would I watch a bunch of boys all sweaty and dirty riding horses in a western?? LOL OK so to the point...If you didn't already know this, Stephen has been SAVED. He has FOUND GOD. He is a SERVANT. He brings forth THE MESSAGE OF CHRIST. Did I make that clear enough? HES A GOD DAMN HOLY ROLLA!!! A God damn holla rolla with a film titled THREESOME on his resume...

So I stopped and watched to listen to what he had to say...why not? Well, as he opened his mouth, I just had to laugh. I even ran to get a notebook and pen to write what he was saying because I was stupified by his arrogance. His main point, or his thesis, if you will, was that "Hollywood is the control center, the NORAD, of evil." That's in quotes people. I wont even get into the fact that he hates the gays...

Am I the only one that takes the quote and wants to scratch his face off?? To that I want to ask him, "So Steven, did you give back all your millions that you earned in Hollywood to rid yourself of the evil money?" I really take great offense to people that have had their day, had their fun, made their millions, and then condemn other people for doing the same thing. It really chaps my ass to no end!! Honestly Steven, if the money is making you feel so guilty, feel free to donate to the Urethra Franklin fund. I could use the help to pay off my student loan debt cause you see I'm swimming in it because Ive chosen a career of service to our future, the kids. I never made my millions while whoring and boozing around Hollywood. Ill never have a soap box to stand on to condemn people. Nor do I want one. YOU MAKE ME SICK!! And I want to gag at the fact that I actually liked you back in the day. CHRIST WHAT WAS I THINKING!!

Pardon me while I go bathe in sin for a little while...

FREE PRISONER

I'm home for the weekend. THANK GOD!! I even have my beautiful vertically challenged baby with me. I missed her so damn much. I have covered her in kisses for the past 2 days. I think shes had enough of me already cause she looks at me with that look, you know the one that says "when can I go back to Granny's house?" So to everyone that kept in touch with me, tried to keep in touch with me, commented my blog, emailed me, messaged my myspace, sent me positive energy, and shouted me out on their podcast...THANK YOU!! I ADORE YOU!!! And to that one particular person who has YET to make any attempt...FUCK YOU!!!

OK now to the business of blogging...so many things to mention so I think Ill cover one per post...so scroll up. :)

HOSPITAL FOOD

Just checking in to let everyone know Im alive. Living in a hospital room is TORTURE!! Im so bored beyond belief!!!! This room is amazing tho...looks like a hotel room. BUT the flatscreen TV has no remote and there is no internet available. SO I sit, I read, I listen to my iPod. Thats about it. Jealous much?? I didnt think so.

Im heading back now so call my cell phone. PLEASE call my cell phone...its my only life line.

HUGGZ

UNWELCOME RECESS

**UPDATE**

• I got out of jury duty!!! WOOTS!!
• I'm leaving for Baton Rouge today...NO computer access!! Someone remind me how we existed before the Internet?? OK I think Ill manage but it will be hard. Maybe I'll look at it like rehab?? Hmmmm....
• Call my cell phone bitches cause I'm not gonna be home.
• And if anyone by some strange stoke of luck just happens to run into that mother fucker GUY...give him a swift kick in the nuts for ME!!

MISS YOU GUYS ALREADY! MWAH!

UNBIASED NEWS REPORT

MY DAY IN A NUT SHELL

• My aunt drove me crazy with last minute preparations for my extended stay with her in the hospital.
• I'm way too hot in an apartment that has had the AC running constantly.
• I keep getting headaches for no apparent reason.
• My soon-to-be EX-best friend is still ignoring phone calls cause apparently hes dug himself into a grave that hes too scared to try to climb out of... *rolls eyes*
• I think I may have looked into my grandmothers eyes for the last time...call it a gut feeling.
• And the cherry on top of the cake?? I just got a jury duty summons. Ask me for when. GO AHEAD!! ASK ME FOR WHEN!! You guessed it...the day I was suppose to leave for Dallas for the only true fun thing I had planned this summer.

Who wants to do me the ultimate favor and just fucking kill me NOW!!!!

FEARFUL BRAVERY

PUT THE HOOCH BACK IN JAIL!!

"TEN"TATIVE CONCLUSION

Heres a new featurette I like to call "Ten Things I hate About You." The rules are simple. I make a list of 10 thngs and you try to guess who I hate. Their image is imbedded under the word YOU in the title. NO CHEATING!! Big Brother is watching. The first one is easy...

TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU

1. You rarely know what you're talking about.
2. You ask the most retarded questions.
3. You ask questions to which everyone already knows the answer.
4. You're way past your years behind that desk.
5. You're jealous of the younger talent.
6. You're questions are assinine.
7. You aren't funny even when you think you are.
8. You don't look good in suspenders.
9. You questions get on my nerves.
10. Did I mention that you are the WORST interviewer I have ever seen?
    

SAFETY HAZARD

POSTSECRET PICK OF THE WEEK

This one is as frightening as it is funny. I think this person needs psychiatric help.