PRETTY UGLY

Maybe the question should have been

"Why do you think 5% of Americans cant form a sentence?"

(thanks Perez)

So today I offer up the Moron Award to idiotic beauty pageant contestants!

FAIL SAFE

I ventured to Best Buy today with my utterly humerous friend Toni Marie. While I was there the heavens rained boxes ON ME!

Watch Toni recall the event...


Now watch Toni re-enact the idiot manager's response...


So today I offer the MORON AWARD to BEST BUY!

DELICIOUS TORMENT

All I have to say is... If this guy was really involved, why wasn't the bomb a fake? You may be dead dear but you just earned the
MORON AWARD!

STUPID GENIUS

I'M SO DAMN PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN!! LOL

SO IT COMES TO PASS...I award my own country the USA the

MORON AWARD!

THUNDEROUS SILENCE

So Ive been so neglectful of my blog lately. All I can say is sorry for my loyal readers and to my not so loyal fans...I never really left. :)
Ill try to post a few things this weekend cause I have some things to say...and I have nothing else to do. WOOTS!!
So lets start the weekend rolling with a Moron Of The Day Award. Thanks Rhonda for this and the next few truly amazing morons!

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

MOTHERLY LOVE

Today's MORON AWARD goes to the mother of the year! (t/y Rhonda)

As a hospital worker reports: "This woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away."

No further commentary needed on my part...

ORGANIZED MESS

I don't know whats more disturbing...this video or ME!!

I admit it!! I LAUGHED!!! But I think I'm laughing at the absurdity of it all. So this Korean "girl-band" is performing on stage and one of them hits the floor with a seizure. What do her band mates, friends, confidants do?? They keep performing around her convulsing body. LOL And whats more disturbing is how their managers (?) ran across stage and carried her off like a sack of potatoes.

Reactions??

I think these girls deserve the moron of the day award because they chose fame over friends...thats wrong, no matter how funny it was :P

CRIMINAL JUSTICE

I just love dumb ass criminal stories. They make my heart sing with glee. Makes me feel so much better about myself cause I know how big of a fucktard I can be sometimes.

But this guy takes the cake.

"When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had."

First of all, I have NEVER understood the concept of siphoning gas. Who in their right minds would suck in a mouthfull of gasoline just to start the line? OMG!! And to make a mistake and suck in SEWAGE WASTE!! OMG!! This guy deserves it alright!! He gets the Moron of the Day Award!

SEXIEST MAN...ALIVE

Sure there can be a "sexiest man" alive. So why am I claiming it should be an oxi-moron? Because when People magazine chooses George Clooney as their Sexiest Man Alive, it is obviously an oxi-moron. WTF? I cant be the only one that doesn't GET IT!! George Clooney? WHY? Were they really tired on the day of the big executive "sexiest man alive meeting?" Did they run out of time and pick names out of a hat? Did George's people call their people and say "do us a favor." I see this as a challenge...find appropriate choices that they could have honored, and make sure they are sexier than their Sexiest Man Alive. Easy Peasy Japaneasy!

UREE's Top Ten List of Sexiest Men Alive...

1. JOHNNY DEPP--THE SEXIEST LONG TERM MAN ALIVE
I shouldn't have to explain this obvious choice but Ill do him justice...cause he deserves it. I have been in love with Johnny since I was 15. Yep that means we have been "together" for 17 years. And you thought I wasn't capable of a long term relationship...TSK TSK. He and I have outlasted Brit Brit and Fed-Ex, Reese and Ryan, Tom and Nicole, and Brad and Jenn. What we have is REAL...and will NEVER die! I remember the first time I saw him...he was being sucked into a bed...ahhhh love at first sight.

2. GALE HAROLD--THE SEXIEST GAY/NOT GAY ALIVE
He makes my inner gay man HARD!! OMG I can watch this man

make out with men all day long! 'Nough said!

3. JAKE SHEARS--THE SEXIEST SISTER ALIVE
Hes hot. Hes flamboyant. Hes a lyrical genius. Hes literate!! *swoons* He can dance his ass off. And he likes to strip down on stage. Could we ask for anything more? Maybe one more show in New Orleans...

4. SEAN WILLIAM SCOTT--THE SEXIEST DUMB-ASS ALIVE
OK so hes not really a dumb ass but he plays such a good one in the movies. I became smitten with him when he spoke so lovingly about his nephews on MTV. Awe...Uncle Stiffler!

5. ANDERSON COOPER--THE SEXIEST DANGER SEEKER ALIVE
Affectionately called "The Coop," Anderson reports from the edge of hell more times than not. He likes to antagonize death...and its fucking sexy!! Oh and lets not forget how he keeps politicians in their damn place! Stay safe dear.

6. CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY--SEXIEST WB ALUM ALIVE
I fell for Chad when he fell for Joey on Dawson's Creek. I admit it; I still take a dive into the Creek whenever I can. Can you blame me...PACEY!!! Oops I got sidetracked...CHAD stole my heart again as the bad-ass-don't-mess-with-my-dumb-sister-hero of House of Wax. He was too damn hott in that movie to be ignored!

7. RYAN PHILLIPPE--SEXIEST CHEATER ALIVE
So he broke Reese's heart? Hes still HOTTER than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire! Id like him to have Cruel Intentions with me...

8. SETH GREEN--SEXIEST GUY YOU ALWAYS FORGET ABOUT ALIVE
Hes hott, there's no denying it! Hes short, red headed, quick tongued and plays an AMAZING James St. James...HOTTTTTT!!

9. LELAND CHAPMAN--SEXIEST BOUNTY HUNTER ALIVE
Honey I think I'm gonna go get a warrant for my arrest in Hawaii just so he can kick my door in...I'm just sayin!

10. JAKE RYAN--SEXIEST TIMELESS MAN ALIVE
We all loved him in Sixteen Candles. All us teen girls had moist panties when we saw his hott lil red car outside that church...then he kissed Molly Ringwald on the table over the cake . *swoons* Hope they didn't burn themselves...YIKES!

11. NICK SIMMONS--SEXIEST BOY TO WATCH ALIVE
Hes the son of Gene Simmons. I cant explain what it is about this kid, but hes HOTT. I love the way he carries himself. Hes confidant, grounded, funny, talented...not at all pompous or arrogant. And most importantly hes easily cuter than his dad EVER was.

There you have it...at least 11 other candidates for the honor of SEXIEST MAN ALIVE. I think this easily makes People Magazine the winner of the Moron of the Day Award!

INSANE LOGIC

I hate Rosie O'donnell. Let me explain when and where I developed my disdain. In the beginning I LOVED her. I loved her back when she hosted that comedy show on VH1...the one with all the connect-the-dots lights in the background. Thats when I thought she was the shit. Color me happy the day she got her own talk show. It was GREAT! I watched it every chance I could. Then...it happened.

The Columbine massacre stunned our world. We were all traumatized and deeply saddened by the events of that day. A month later, Rosie invited Tom Selleck onto her show to plug his new movie. Then, she used her platform, her stage, her air-time to publicly attack his views and opinions about gun control. She led the sheep into the lions den...because she could. That pisses me off! Here's were I get contradictory.

I totally agreed with EVERYTHING she said! But, her tactic was brutal and in my opinion unforgivable. I never looked at her the same. I never watched her show again. I never liked her again. I cant stand the sight of her. And my disdain continues.



Now she has not only accused Kelly Rippa of being homophobic, but she has publicly outed Clay Aiken. NOT YOUR PLACE ROSIE!! First of all, not wanting someone's hand to your mouth does NOT mean you are a homophobe! JEEZ!! Shut your trap woman! Im giving you the moron of the day award! And second of all, SHAME ON YOU for publicly implying, stating, assuming, OUTING Clay Aiken! That should be HIS decision on HIS terms! Im sick of her VIEW already.