Sunday, November 26, 2006

SEXIEST MAN...ALIVE

Sure there can be a "sexiest man" alive. So why am I claiming it should be an oxi-moron? Because when People magazine chooses George Clooney as their Sexiest Man Alive, it is obviously an oxi-moron. WTF? I cant be the only one that doesn't GET IT!! George Clooney? WHY? Were they really tired on the day of the big executive "sexiest man alive meeting?" Did they run out of time and pick names out of a hat? Did George's people call their people and say "do us a favor." I see this as a challenge...find appropriate choices that they could have honored, and make sure they are sexier than their Sexiest Man Alive. Easy Peasy Japaneasy!

UREE's Top Ten List of Sexiest Men Alive...


1. JOHNNY DEPP--THE SEXIEST LONG TERM MAN ALIVE
I shouldn't have to explain this obvious choice but Ill do him justice...cause he deserves it. I have been in love with Johnny since I was 15. Yep that means we have been "together" for 17 years. And you thought I wasn't capable of a long term relationship...TSK TSK. He and I have outlasted Brit Brit and Fed-Ex, Reese and Ryan, Tom and Nicole, and Brad and Jenn. What we have is REAL...and will NEVER die! I remember the first time I saw him...he was being sucked into a bed...ahhhh love at first sight.




2. GALE HAROLD--THE SEXIEST GAY/NOT GAY ALIVE
He makes my inner gay man HARD!! OMG I can watch this man


3. JAKE SHEARS--THE SEXIEST SISTER ALIVE
Hes hot. Hes flamboyant. Hes a lyrical genius. Hes literate!! *swoons* He can dance his ass off. And he likes to strip down on stage. Could we ask for anything more? Maybe one more show in New Orleans...




4. SEAN WILLIAM SCOTT--THE SEXIEST DUMB-ASS ALIVE
OK so hes not really a dumb ass but he plays such a good one in the movies. I became smitten with him when he spoke so lovingly about his nephews on MTV. Awe...Uncle Stiffler!


5. ANDERSON COOPER--THE SEXIEST DANGER SEEKER ALIVE
Affectionately called "The Coop," Anderson reports from the edge of hell more times than not. He likes to antagonize death...and its fucking sexy!! Oh and lets not forget how he keeps politicians in their damn place! Stay safe dear.


6. CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY--SEXIEST WB ALUM ALIVE
I fell for Chad when he fell for Joey on Dawson's Creek. I admit it; I still take a dive into the Creek whenever I can. Can you blame me...PACEY!!! Oops I got sidetracked...CHAD stole my heart again as the bad-ass-don't-mess-with-my-dumb-sister-hero of House of Wax. He was too damn hott in that movie to be ignored!


7. RYAN PHILLIPPE--SEXIEST CHEATER ALIVE
So he broke Reese's heart? Hes still HOTTER than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire! Id like him to have Cruel Intentions with me...


8. SETH GREEN--SEXIEST GUY YOU ALWAYS FORGET ABOUT ALIVE
Hes hott, there's no denying it! Hes short, red headed, quick tongued and plays an AMAZING James St. James...HOTTTTTT!!


9. LELAND CHAPMAN--SEXIEST BOUNTY HUNTER ALIVE
Honey I think I'm gonna go get a warrant for my arrest in Hawaii just so he can kick my door in...I'm just sayin!


10. JAKE RYAN--SEXIEST TIMELESS MAN ALIVE
We all loved him in Sixteen Candles. All us teen girls had moist panties when we saw his hott lil red car outside that church...then he kissed Molly Ringwald on the table over the cake . *swoons* Hope they didn't burn themselves...YIKES!




11. NICK SIMMONS--SEXIEST BOY TO WATCH ALIVE
Hes the son of Gene Simmons. I cant explain what it is about this kid, but hes HOTT. I love the way he carries himself. Hes confidant, grounded, funny, talented...not at all pompous or arrogant. And most importantly hes easily cuter than his dad EVER was.



There you have it...at least 11 other candidates for the honor of SEXIEST MAN ALIVE. I think this easily makes People Magazine the winner of the Moron of the Day Award!


19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Johnny Depp, the man is STILL looking good even in his forties. Gets better looking each year.

And I am STILL CONVINCED the haevens opened up from the sky and dropped Gale Harold down to the earth. He NEEDS to be working more! Thousands of gay men and straight women will agree!

Anonymous said...

Heavens....oops!

Uree said...

Jane...he WAS working...until those bastards killed him off!! CAN YOU IMAGINE!!

Anonymous said...

Im sorry but i have to disagree with your number 1 choice missy. Theres no doubt in my mind that the Sexiest Man Alive is....
*drum roll*
JAY GIBBS
yes you know its true he so is, i think you need to change you list and stick him right on top

Uree said...

well wouldnt you rather that he stays on top of you dear??

:)

sydney said...

Hey, just discovered your blog and it's a riot! While I must respectfully disagree with most of your sexy list, I gotta tell you I love your profile statement... "Gay man trapped in a woman's body" God, I LOVE that! I may borrow it sometime.

Uree said...

Sydney from acoopervision, welcome and thanks for the compliment.

i wish it was more than a profile statment :( its a fate worse than death...TRUST ME!

<3

Rachel said...

OMG!! Jake Ryan!!! Sweet Jesus I love Jake Ryan. Oh yeah Anderson too. hehe

Rachel said...

Ah, I see you have some coop fans on there way.

Uree said...

YAY!! Who's driving the bus with the Coop fans?? Theres room for all of ya :)

Anonymous said...

I am not at all suprised by your list. I actually guessed your top 3!!! Love your blog girly!!!!

Anonymous said...

Killed Gale off where? Oh no, they didn't!

Uree said...

He was on that show Vanished...i didnt watch for a few weeks, then i tuned in and he was GONE and they were saying things like "im sorry to hear about Agt. whatever-his-name-was."

I havent tuned in since then.

****Oh and for the record I'VE BEEN IN BRIAN KINNEY's PANTS!! :)

Uree said...

http://www.fox.com/vanished/

ThatPussyKatGirl said...

ive been enjoying all your blog entry's uree but how could i NOT comment to this one...sexist men... hmmmmmm *sigh*... johnny, oh johnny... i just wanna lick that tear right off his cheek in cry baby... gr8 no.1 !!! and we share the same motto 'gay man trapped in a womans body'... im contemplating therapy!!! xxx

Shelly said...

Yeah, I have the issue of sexiest man alive, and i still havent cracked it open. Clooney? Give me a fucking break!! Not to insult all the Coopettes who frequent, but My personal choice would have been Tom Brokaw for newsman. He's about 100 now though. I must admit I've been peeking at the Coop lately.. He is quite mezmerizing.
Just a thought.. Maybe Gale's got another gig in the fire and thats why they killed him off? I wont accept this!!! What is it Fox? BOYCOTT FOX! I agree with you on the Depp. They should have went Depp or Pitt. The Clooney is probably moistening the geriatric panties of all the old ladies at People. He does nothing for me.

Uree said...

I just noticed only 1.5 of these men are gay...and Im not even in therapy. LOL

WOOTS!

Anonymous said...

i totally agree with seann william scott.... i used to be in lurrrve wit him.... ask dan he'll tell ya... nd ryan phillipe *drools* uve gta love him in cruel intentions.... also chad michael murray nd seth green *thumbs up*

lv becki x

Uree said...

awe sweet lil becki...tell dan to get his hot little ass to my blog MWAH!!