HAPPY DEMISE

I just have to get something off my chest! I FUCKING HATE MARY POPPINS!! Let me tell you something BITCH! The sun does NOT always shine! You don't need to SMILE every second of the damn day! You don't have to ask me how I'm doing every morning, heck, you don't even have to tell me "Good morning" every day! Wanna know whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Cause you make me SICK!! The tone of your voice grates on my nerves...OOOO here comes Mary Poppins..."Good morning Ms. Franklin! How you doing this morning?" *with the SMIIIIIIIIIIIILE out to ------------------------------------------------HERE!*

You annoy me!!! Stay away from me!!! Its not possible to ALWAYS be in a good fucking mood!!!

And make note of this...DO NOT PRESUME THAT I DON'T MIND doing you those favors!! BECAUSE I DO!! I really wanna wipe that smile clear off of your face...smudge your make-up, and muss your hair!! GRRRR....

GUILTY PLEASURE

I have an admission to make. I'm not proud of it. But I feel as tho I must be honest. I am addicted to GIRLS NEXT DOOR.

I cannot seem to stop watching this show. Am I the only one? I cant be! I am mesmerized by these girls that live with THE HEF! First of all let me say this. I have never been a fan of the stripper-model look. Although the appearance is "perfection," I find it quite fake. BUT, these girls, as fake as they may appear, truly are kinda REAL, in their own fake-reality kinda way.

I mean looking at them, all I see is the fake teeth, the fake hair, the fake tits... BUT they are so kinda adorable? Can it be? No, it cant be that? Can it?

My favorite girl to watch is Kendra (left). Shes the wild child of the bunch. What did she want more than anything else for her birthday? A diamond encrusted GRILL...you know, for her teeth...thug girl style. Or as she puts it, "I'm a P-I-M-P." Kendra cracks me up with her insane personality, her off-the-wall sense of humor, and her obnoxious laugh.

Holly(right) is HEF's "#1". Yes, that's what shes called. She is his main girlfriend. She sleeps in his room. I guess this positioning gives her a bit more "clout." I don't know...Shes very "involved" with running things for HEF. I guess he is her "job?" Shes interesting...

Bridget (middle) is the last of the 3 girlfriends that live in the Playboy mansion. She is actually very REAL to me. I'm not sure why. Maybe its because her family actually goes to visit her. Although I was completely weirded out when she practiced her burlesque striptease in front of her dad...EEEWWW! But there is something about her that I enjoy. Could it be that I'm envious that she actually lives in oblivion? They say "ignorance is bliss." I wouldn't know anything about that. :P

As a group, these girls are "flawless" in appearance. They smile CONSTANTLY with so much white that you need sunglasses. They always seem happy. And they are always involved in projects that seem so...silly. Kinda like they are living the life that we would expect the dolls in the Its A Small World ride to be living when Disneyworld closes, and no one's around. Does that even make sense.

Anyway here's a clip if you've never seen the show...pay close attention to Kendra as she asks HEF about having a boner...the girl cracks me up!!! And watch their mouths when they speak...their teeth and that unbreakable smiley thing thats happening.

Tell me what you think...seen it? thoughts? admissions?

WORKING HOBBY

I am so sad to have to bid a fond farewell to one of my favorite blogs ACooperVision.

My sweet Sista Friend, compadre in stalking all things sexy, Rachel, has decided to end her hilarious blog due to time constraints. I totally understand where she's coming from. However, if I may be selfish for one second...I won't find that daily does of WIT and CHARM about Anderson Cooper anywhere else. I will really miss checking in with her everyday...I guess we still have Myspace. Good Luck Rachel! And I'll see you in March! Feather Boas in hand!! WOOTS!!!

PERFECT MISFIT

UPDATE: in the comment section

Well guys, please pray for my baby tomorrow. I will be taking her to the vet because she has an odd infection on one of her legs. Last week she was attacked by a dog that was NOT on a leash. And although I thought she had gotten away unscathed, I was clearly wrong. Vet visits for my dear Simon are a horrifying experience. She will need to be sedated because she suffers from a panic disorder. YES ITS TRUE! My dog has a panic disorder...

Anyway just keep her in your thoughts tomorrow afternoon. Sedating her is always a scary experience for me cause it really freaks me out to see her so "lifeless." My biggest fear is that one day she wont wake up. Ill post when we get home to let everyone know how she is.

But on a slightly different note, I am presently comforted by the movie Simon Birch, for whom Simon is named. If you haven't seen it, Simon Birch was a little person, born to the world always knowing that God had created him to serve as a miracle one day. It was his destiny. He is one of the most lovable characters ever written.

Here's a clip of smart ass Simon...just like I love him!

And here's a clip of Simon searching for meaning to his life.

So I named my baby Simon Birch, because on the way home from the animal shelter, the day that I adopted her, she was so excited to be leaving that she tried to jump from the backseat to the front seat, and she literally got stuck between the seats...because she is LONG and SHORT. She is a miracle and destined for something special!

BLACK GOLD

The SAINTS play the Chicago Bears today in a game that will decide who goes to the Superbowl. WAIT...did I read that right? The Saints are one game away from the Superbowl? Hmmmm...well I guess since HELL and HIGH WATER came...this is possible too. AMEN!

This town has been crazee partying all week since they beat the Eagles last weekend. Everything, everywhere is adorned with black and gold and Fleur-de-Lis. This is not something that this town is use to...so forgive our overkill on JOY! Our school district declared Friday to be BLACK-AND-GOLD day. Uniform requirements were suspended for the SAINTS spirit. And my school was fortunate enough to have a visit from oober fan "Holy Moses." Anyone from New Orleans KNOWS Holy Moses. Hes been dressing as the unofficial Saints mascot for 26 years. Hes NEVER given up FAITH in our boys. Its a good thing someone cared thru the "AINTS" days.

So for those of you not from New Orleans...let me set the scene for you.

ALL WEEK, no matter where you go...what corner you turn...who you're with...you will hear "WHO DAT? WHO DAT? WHO DAT SAY THEY GONNA BEAT DEM SAINTS?" Enter Holy Moses to our school which is adorned in Black and Gold. He enters the building proudly singing, "WHO DAT? WHO DAT? WHO DAT SAY THEY GONNA BEAT DEM SAINTS?" And of course a second line ensues. WOOTS!! All I can say is that SAINTS fans are like NO OTHER in the NFL. We come from a town that knows how to party, knows how to eat, and for the first time knows how to win.

Here's a tribute video to their season so far...and hopefully, after today, we can add to it!

BLESS YOU BOYS!!!!!!!!

FOREIGN NATIONAL

This evening I was pleasantly surprised by a phone call from abroad. I love picking up the phone and hearing THAT accent!! That wonderfully beautiful and juicy ACCENT!! You know the one...that accent that would make listening to the phone book being read a SEXY THING! Allow me to introduce you, my loyal readers to some of my favorite BRITS on the planet...as the voices emerged. :P

First up was Liam, aka Dirrtyboy. I cannot convey to anyone how much I ADORE this sweetheart! He is truly delightful in every way. He always knows how to make me laugh either with his wit or his own clumsiness. I thought I was the laziest person ever until I met him. LOL But don't hate me for saying that dear...just means we could laze together on a rainy Sunday afternoon. He has worked very hard to teach me British slang, by
which I am completely intrigued. Love you dear...BIGG HUGGZ!

Next was Matthew, aka Pilgrim. Pilgrim is such a DOLL!!
He is a gorgeous specimen of the human race...a body to die for!

He has a heart of gold...and he knows how to treat his lady...which is SOOO SEXY!!! And he produces beautiful babies!! What more could a girl ask for in a guy?? OO a killer sense of humor and he loves the way I say "OH MY GAWD!" lol

Then I was pleased to get to chat with Sara, Pilgrims lovely
girlfriend. She and I share a similar mentality because we have both chosen a career in education. I wish you the best girl...as I choose to depart the classroom. You guys are just so cute together too...loverly people and a special couple. Huggz to both of you! :)

And although they I didn't get to speak to these 2 tonight, I cannot mention my dear friends across the pond without giving a shout-out to 2 more very important British creations.

Jay, the passionate thinker, is Liam's boyfriend and my oober friend. :) He is insightful, and somehow deeply connected to the hidden aspects of human relations. AND, he knows how to work a camera!!! WOOTS!! Just call him Brian Kinney...but not to his face! LOL I adore him!!

And listed last but by NO MEANS LEAST...Dan, aka DRAMA, is too special for me to attempt to put into words. We share an indescribable bond that cannot be broken. And that's not just because we are cyber-spouses. :) I like to describe my honey as a thuggish punk with a heart of gold. And LOOK--------------->

He's wearing the Mardi Gras beads I sent to him last year. :) I love you sweetie...BIGG TIGHT HUGGZ!!

I LOVE THE LOT OF YOU!!!

SAD CLOWN

Hey guys! Jeez you all make me feel so loved!! :)

Sorry I haven't blogged in 4 whole days...SUE ME!!! :P

Ive been very busy with work and feeling emotionally void. So I haven't really been motivated to create posts for this blog.

BUT, I have a couple ideas in mind and I shall get to work soon. BUT, unfortunately, I have to go to work all day on Saturday for fucking staff development. SO, hopefully you will all be able to wait a wee bit more.

Keep checking in and don't abandon the MORON! Shes still here just being a bit lazy.

BIGG HUGGZ!