SOCIAL OUTCAST

4 days into the new year and I am nominating

K-Fed as Father of the Year!!

Look how he's protecting the wee tots. I think I'm in love!

And on a more asinine note...I think I want to be a paparazzo. It looks like they have way too much fun. AND I CAN DRIVE CRAZIER THAN THAT!! I would have made it around K-Fed!! BOOYAH!

RECENT HISTORY

Another year has passed...JEEZ! So its time for
Uree's Faves, Bests, and Moments of 2007

Best Book of 2007: Freak Show I absolutely LOVED this book. It was so worth the wait. If you haven't read it yet or discovered the amazing brilliance of James St. James, you don't know what you're missing!
Best Movie and Soundtrack of 2007: Across the Universe I was so pleasantly surprised with this film. And so thankful for Alexiss suggesting it. I'm not a fan of musicals and I was never a fan of The Beatles...but this film is one of the best I have ever seen.
Best Song of 2007: Let It Be---Across The Universe Soundtrack

Best Podcast of 2007: Of course it continues to be Calling Long Distance!! Easily the funniest duo since Martin and Lewis! Catch up with them weekly as they podcast from London and San Francisco AT THE SAME TIME!! I LOVE THESE BOYS!!

Best New Find of 2007: The Daily Out Cast Jonathan found a day job. And of course he's my favorite!! Tune in daily for the sound of that sexy voice! Craziest Adventure of 2007: Back in March I took the trip of a lifetime with someone we will refer to as ASSHOLE. We followed the Scissor Sisters to 6 shows from Chicago to Houston. I cannot even put into words how much FUN we had...so I wont even try. TRUST ME!!! Groupie life is a BLAST!!
Craziest Weekend of 2007: James St. James came to Dallas to party with my crew. I adore him!! Such an example of graciousness and glamour. I cannot wait to relive this adventure when he arrives for Mardi Gras 2008.Saddest/ Most Infuriating Realization of 2007: The ASSHOLE and I are no longer friends because he is a heartless, unfeeling, selfish CUNT! Oh and by the way, I WANT MY MONEY!!! Uree is now taking applications for main fag...Best Video of 2007: Do NEVER mess with the HAG known as Uree... This video may be purchased for $1100.

Most Heart Warming Moment of 2007: I was the only witness to my grandmother's last rites. I'll never forget the connection I felt to her in that moment.

Hardest Decision of 2007: I left the classroom this year for a position at our Central Office. I'm pretty confidant that I made the right decision. I miss a few aspects of teaching, mainly my students. BUT there is a mountain of things that I do NOT miss and NEVER will!!! So hooray for Uree's new job.

Favorite Word of 2007: CHUNT!

Favorite Quote of 2007: "FUCK IT! We'll never see these people again!" Machinegunshelly

Most Fabulous Purchase of 2007: Its a toss up as of New Years Eve Eve (yes I meant to type 2 eves!) A couple months ago I happened upon a vintage queen gown from a Mardi Gras Krewe. I was lucky enough to find it while a goober was manning the store. I bought it for $35!!! Its amazingly fabulous!! I mean just look at the fur sleeves!!! :)

Then 2 days ago I found these cat Mary Jane's. I fell in love with them and had to buy them. AREN'T THEY CUTE?!!!!! Guiltiest Pleasure of 2007: Rock of Love! I adored Jess. I was thrilled when Bret picked her. And I was thrilled when she said NO WAY on the reunion show! WOOTS!! Most Attention Diverting Fuck Up of 2007: Nough Said... And the winner of the 2007 Moron Of The Year Award: Britney Spears She has been the World's favorite pastime this year! Keep on keepin on Brit Brit!! Don't know what I'd do without you daily dose of Train Wreck Wisdom and Guidance!!

I hope 2008 tops 2007! Much love to you guys! MWAH, MWAH!

CLEARLY MISUNDERSTOOD

Its Simon aka Mommy's Love.

Notice how she POSES!!!

STRAIGHT HOOK

QUIPS FROM TROY

"I could use these as cock rings...if my dick was smaller."

KEPT SECRET

12/09/2007

The day Uree's secret was posted!

RANDOM LOGIC

A Really Long List of Totally Random Things About Uree...

READ IT BITCHES!

I wish I was a gay man...ok just had to get that one out of the way.

I have difficulty trusting people.

I remember my dreams, which are in color, and I have been known to keep a dream journal in the past because I like trying to interpret my dreams.

I have no tattoos but have always wanted one!! I will one day.

As a child, I was deathly afraid of fire. I was convinced that our home would burn down while we were in it -so I was scared to be at home at night time —it was an awful time for me.

I think I'm a good cook, although I tend to cook the same things over and over again.

I don’t understand why Citizen Kane and his damn rose-bud were sooooooo fucking brilliant.

I have a brain tumor.

When the ice cream truck would come around my neighborhood I would always get either pineapple sherbet or a screwball.

I love my family intensely and I could never leave South LA b/c of them.

I tend to remain extremely private…almost to a fault.

I hate feet, they are horrid, keep them away!

I am fiercely loyal to my friends. And I will defend them to the death.

Although I consider myself to be a safe drive, I have a lead foot and do drive rather fast.

As a child I was either permanently attached to my skates or my big wheel. I once skated 12 hours for Jerry’s Kids. Hes my hero by the way!! LAAAAAADDDDYYY!!

When I was about 12 years old, a kid named Scott punched me square in the face cause I called him out on something—he didn’t like it too much.

OOOOO here’s a good one::: my stripper name would be Cocoa Goode (silent e).

My biggest pet peeve is people spitting in public,especially on the sidewalk—it's disgusting!!!

I love Horror movies. Especially psychological thriller types.

I usually look people in the eyes when I talk to them.

I cannot dance to save my life—and I'm quite envious of people that can cut a rug!

I’m incredibly tickelish—and I HATE it!! The only time I ever thought I was going to die was while being tickled.

I don’t do drugs—never have. Wish I did...but I still wont.

I believe that a series of events or circumstances cause certain intersections in time that become life defining moments in people’s lives---aka fate.

I buy alot of books but I tend to not read them---I just like to be surrounded by books.

Wanna see me melt?? Massage my hands!!

When I was a young tot my dad would rub my feet all the time. It was the only way he could get me to shut the hell up. I distinctly remember one night we were out at a restaurant and I was screaming my fool-head off about something so my dad took me to the car so everyone else could eat in peace. He took my shoes off, put both my feet in his hand, and commenced rubbing. I promptly shut up!

I speak to my dog in this voice that tends to annoy people but I don’t care b/c she knows I love her.

I believe that strawberry Icees are a pure slice of heaven.

I wanna be a dolphin when I grow up.

I'm afraid to lose people that are close to me.

I like to nap daily when I’m on vacation.

I don’t always know how to take a compliment.

I could eat mashed potatoes everyday for the rest of my life!

I tend to question peoples motives--part of that trust issue.

I absolutely love to people watch in various environments. My favorite is to go to a toy aisle and watch little Susie explain to Mommy why she absolutely HAS to have THAT toy. Kids can be quite entertaining at times.

Although I do eat some vegetables I sometimes think of myself as a meatatarian.

In my heart I truly believe that the cruelest form of retaliation is to ignore a friend.

I attended catholic school from K-12 then a Jesuit university. Faith has been a struggle for me especially over the past 10 years or so. I question things and have been left feeling kind of sad by my religion. I’m not a practicing Catholic, but I still believe that I have Faith in certain aspects of Catholicism.

I question whether or not I am capable of sharing half of myself with another person.

I value my independence.

I have some relatives that make my skin crawl.

I don’t care for swimming too much.

I think every house should have a porch with a swing and a rocker on it.

I once stole a toilet seat cover and toilet paper from Graceland. I just love Elvis!!

If I may sound cliche for a moment--the happiest place on earth is Disneyworld. Pluto is my favorite Disney character.

I trust my gut instincts.

The theme song for unsolved mysteries creeps me the fuck out.

I think Jerry Springer kills brain cells quicker than crack.

I don’t like to be touched when I’m sick, I don’t like my bed to be touched when I’m sick, I don’t like to be talked to when I’m sick.

And this one can be filed under TMI...When I vomit I put a towel over my eyes and nose and flush as quickly as possible--I cannot handle seeing vomit.

I prefer to be without shoes on my feet.

My lucky number is 4.

I have a birthmark that looks like a really small 3rd nipple just under my left breast.

I twirl my hair incessantly.

I have a tendency to pay my bills late b/c I hate dealing with them.

York bites are the best candy ever invented.

I’m afraid to go into bank lobbies.

I think manicures are torture---cutting out cuticles-OUCH!!! I had a really bad pedicure once so I’m biased—doctor visits, antibiotics, and toe nails growing off. EWWWW.

I don’t twist Oreos--I bite into them.

I know its gross--but when prevoked, I can out belch any frat boy on his worse drunken night.

I love the smell of rain.

I hate it when fuckers think its HOT to blast their fucking bass out of there car like it’s the best damn song on earth, when in actuality you cant hear the fucking song cause the bass is so damn loud you're forced to listen to your car rattle and shake.

I think I use cyber speak too much—LOL

I wish I was a musician—not in the fame sense, but in the ability to create songs thru an instrument.

High School was horrible for me---I think I was suicidal back then—but I never tried to kill myself—so maybe I wasn’t---see how confused I am about High School??

Speaking of High School—my guidance counselor is a constant source of motivation for me---When he asked me where I wanted to go to college and I told him Loyola, he laughed in my face then asked me to consider in "REALITY" where I would go. I just think of his face and somehow a fire is lit under my ass!!

I'm currently listening to Everybody Hurts by REM.

I secretly wish I was an alcoholic...they seem like they have way more fun.

I use to schedule my classes around my soap operas---I don’t watch them anymore---tooooo mind numbing!

I really LOVE to blog...when I have something to say.

SAFE SEX

Today is WORLD AIDS DAY WRAP YOUR WILLIES!!!!