POSITIVELY WRONG

UH-HEM...

What the fuck is THIS??

"The Ultimate Cheesy-Ballad Playlist
Journey's ''Don't Stop Believing.'' The most shameful part is that it's on my ''Super Duper Motivation'' playlist for the days I need inspiration to finish a run. —Karen"

Karen can EAT MY SHIT!! She obviously hasnt had Sammy Jo play Dont Stop Believin for HER!!!! CHUNT!!

BLISSFUL IGNORANCE

Because I love how naive I was in this moment...or stupid, I don't know which. And I'm choosing to remember the good times with the ASSHOLE!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

UPDATED 11/30/07

WOW post

HAPPY FREAK-MAS

I have some rather interesting news. I don't HATE Christmas anymore. I mean I don't LOVE it either but I'm not walking around like I just fucked the Grinch. Its an interesting feeling. I'm usually the Scroogy bitch all thru the holidays. But something is different this year. I'm not stressed out!! Alla-freaking-luiah. So anyway I EVEN BOUGHT AN X-MAS TREE!! Can you believe it? I havent put a tree up in probably 10 years. BUT, I couldn't resist. I saw this pink feather Christmas tree in the store the other day and it so reminded me of DRAG QUEEN VOMIT. You know what I mean...if a drag queen would vomit a Christmas tree THIS would be THE TREE! lol SO I was inspired and I decorated a FREAK SHOW tree.

Crazy? definitely But so cute!! The tree topper is a tiara. The bulbs are pink purple and green. The garland is made of purple beads...anal beads? hmmmm.... There are purple glittery pontsettais. And the best part are the Scarlett letter Fs. I adore my tree. And it also reminds me how badly I need therapy. So happy holidays everyone.

QUICK FIX

THIS is why I love this man so much!! I can listen to this shit all day long!! LMAO!!! SHELLY where the hell is the video from the Dallas reading? This might light a fire under your ass. WOOTS!

To see more videos visit the James St. James channel on WOWTV.

VICTIMLESS CRIME

SO I wanted to make this wonderful post about my traumatic experience in a parking garage the other day. A post complete with music to give the complete FEEL just for effect. SO let me set the stage...I was heading to my car which was on the third level of my favorite place on Earth, a parking garage. As I ascended the steps in the stairwell, I had a very uneasy feeling as I usually do in those types of places. I kept looking ahead, up and behind me. Everyone knows the Boogie Man likes to play in parking garages! And then I heard exactly what you never want to hear in this situation...FOOT STEPS. And then around the corner comes HIM! The Buffalo Bill look alike. You remember this guy right? "I'd fuck me." "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again." "DON'T HURT MY DOG YOU BITCH!" Yeah THAT GUY!. So of course when I get out of the stair well I spend more time looking behind me than I do looking ahead of me as I walk to my car. And EVERYONE knows that when you look behind you that's when something happens. Well nothing happened but the whole time I could hear "Goodbye Horse" playing, and I could hear Precious barking at me as I screamed from inside the pit. Well, the song is on the play list I made.

Long story short...I couldn't remember how to make the one song widget so I had to make the long ass widget. Now I see how depressed I am.
These are prolly my all time favorite songs in life. If you only choose one to listen to, make it GOODBYE HORSES!

You may shower me with huggz and kisses now...or if you'd prefer to flick off Guy, Id take that too.

If the damn player doesnt work...try clicking here to listen or read my play list. Once on the page click on the green PLAY icon.

OLD NEWS

BIG BOPPER??

I think everyone knows I have this INSANE collection of teeny bopper magazines from the late 80's. Its quite a collection, Ill tell you that right now. I was on the hunt for THE CROTCH SHOT to end all crotch shots. I feel all dirrty now like one of those weirdos on the SS message board that literally talk about Jake Shear's crotch ALL DAY!! Anyhoo...Shelly does a phenomenal job of writing her Crotch Watch blog. SO on the search I went for that damn picture. Its a picture of Johnny Depp with his leg propped up on a motorcycle and his LENGTH is beyond massive. As a wee teeny bopper girl, I was down right mesmerized by the BULGE in his pants!!! OH-EM-GEE!!!

Well I couldn't find THE picture but I found this one which might be from the same photo shoot. The clothes look similar but he didn't have the head-band in the one I was looking for...

I laughed for hours as I turned the pages of these magazines. I felt compelled to package a few to send to James St. James. He will kackle like a school girl when he sees them!

What I found so interesting was the innocence of that time for those rising stars. Can you guess the celebs??It was PRE: boob jobs, boob reductions, anorexia, Parkinson's disease, convulsive deaths on the Viper Room floor, fame!! OH and it was all before the New Kids On The Block invasion. I still feel like THEY ruined teeny bopper magazines!

There' my find...my hidden treasure...my "secret in the closet."

LOCAL LONG DISTANCE

"Come on Baby Girl. Someone go get my phone so I can call 911 to get this mother fucker out of my way!"

BAHAHAHAHAHA

So the world is captivated by this THING called Britney Spears. Well here's an interesting tid-bit for you guys. I was at the nursing home last week and as I passed the TV room (you know the room with all the depressed, abandoned patients lined up in rows to watch TV as their life slips past them), and all the old folks were watching their daily dose of BRITNEY SPEARS UPDATE!!! I had to laugh at the surreality of it all. Even in Po-Dunk Louisiana, the lost souls from yesteryear HAVE TO KNOW how shes doing. *sighs*

So here you go...your daily fix. And its a DOOZY...the woman trying to help her get out of the parking lot cracked me UP!!! Enjoy!!

RESTLESS SLEEP