BITTER SWEET

Why do the people we care about the most always hurt us the most?

POLITICALLY CORRECT

Im fed up with politcal correctness! Ever wonder what political correctness does to our kids? Heres your chance to find out...easily offended leave you shit at the door!

Today Santa Clause came to school to take pictures with my students. So they were all extremly excited and preoccupied with DA MAN! Anway, picture it: the trouble maker, never listens, always tattles JUST to get someone else in trouble for a change, musters up in the MOST whiny, annoying "tattle-tale" voice you could EVER imagine,

"Ms. Franklin, Cassie said Santa is FAT!"

To conclude his statement, he looked at me with that look. You know the one. The one that says, "Go get her! FUSS HER GOOD"

I simply looked at him and said sternly,

"Santa IS fat."

Then we all had a good chuckle...see they can handle things just fine. :)

NAUGHTY SANTA

Anyone who really knows me, KNOWS how much I HATE Christmas. I HATE it, HATE it, HATE it. Is that clear enough for you guys?

BUT...

This goes way too far!!!! Apparently, Austria has banned Santa Clause from its elementary school classrooms because they claim they don't want children to get confused about accepting gifts from a stranger *rolls eyes*. Even I have boundaries to my disdain! This is pure INSANITY! One of the few good moments that I actually enjoy about teaching is the excitement that my students bring into the classroom during the holidays. They make me WANT to enjoy the holiday. Whether I do or not is a whole other blog.

But the point is this...kids are kids!! Let them be kids!! They will only be kids for a very short time because innocence is lost earlier and earlier these days. Let them have their Santa Clause. FUCK POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!! Its nauseating. If you don't like Santa Clause...block your chimney and bar your door!!! Don't shit on everyone else's fun!!

And while were discussing this...I don't care that Rudolph isn't an original reindeer from Santa's "real" team!! Rudolph ROCKS MY PANTS!! So don't even go there!!! YA HEARD!!

HOLLYWOOD FRIENDS

I confess. I looked at the Britney crotch shots! I had to know once and for all if celebrity PUD looked any different from regular-girl PUD. Guess what? PUD is PUD!! Its ugly, misshaped, and soooo...unappealing. What do you hetero boys see in it? Never mind! I don't wanna know!

So anyway, I was kinda surprised that Brit Brit and Paris were actually hanging out. DO they have anything in common other than the fact that they both top my list of most annoying, undeserving, over-paid, talentless, blond bimbos in the world? Nope. Cant think of one thing, y'all. I give this friend-hook-up about 2 weeks.

On to other news: Brangelina has taken up a make shift home in New Orleans. Apparently Brad is filming a movie here. Don't ask! I will NOT be stalking these 2. Ten years ago YES! I would have calculated every move and found Brad OR Angie at any and all costs. I would have had bail money set aside in my quest. But you see times have changed.

Once upon a time. there was a beautiful, charming, thoughtful, well-mannered, grounded, SEXY mo-fo known as Brad Pitt. I would have done 10-30 years in Angola for him. I actually did my best to find him when he was filming Interview With The Vampire. But he was less known then and blended into the stench of my decadent city too easily. As time went on, he grew more popular, landing leading roles, earning more money, growing further and further away from the natural beauty that he had once been.

Around the same time that his fame was growing, there was a beautiful woman, an up-and-comer by the name of Angelina Jolie. She was stunning, controversial, talented, literate, and liked to make-out with her brother (which is kinda cool...in a weird fearless kinda way). Then she grew INSIDE. Growing inside is wonderful, don't get me wrong. But there has to be a limit. When you grow so much that you get preachy I have a problem. *coughs* Stephen Baldwin *coughs*

Then these two souls collided and molded themselves into BRANGELINA. God help the world! *Rolls eyes* I guess they are gonna lead the world to safety or something. As a couple, I find them nauseating. I cant be the only one. Can I? I joked with a friend last night that they are probably living in a FEMA trailer just for the experience...so they can be DOWN with the people! *vomits*

Here's where I get contradictory. Honestly, I hate that I'm so cynical about people that try to do good in this capacity. They have the money, the clout, the media spotlight, so why not? Shouldn't they do it? I guess. But do they have to be sooooo fucking annoying about it?? JEEZ!

ILL HEALTH

WORLD AIDS DAY
Friday, December 1, 2006

"It is bad enough that people are dying of AIDS, but no one should die of ignorance." --Elizabeth Taylor

I remember learning about AIDS when I was a kid. I learned about it because Ryan White put a face to this disease that had previously been dubbed "the gay-mans disease." See where moronic thinking gets us? Currently, it is estimated that 39.5 million people are living with HIV/AIDS worldwide. Its not "their" disease. Its OUR disease!

You can donate money.
You can donate time.
You can spread awareness.
You can be safe.
You can offer hugs for support.
You can love someone infected.
You can...
You CAN!!

Stop AIDS: Keep the Promise
CDC fact sheet
AIDS Action: Until Its Over
The QUILT

STUDY BREAK

Mark Twain once said, "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."

To that I say FUCKIN 'A!! And I'm a teacher...

So I warned you to expect the random on this blog. I intend to randomly post utterly quotable quotes from MY STUDENTS.

Let me set the scene. We could be in class, in transition from point A to point B, sitting quietly for a clearly defined purpose, deep in thought about the theme of the week, or sharing our writing activities, when out of the blue, out of left field, with no rhyme or reason comes the thing that was SO IMPORTANT that everything had to be interrupted, pushed to the side, neglected, thrown out the window because...

"Ms. Franklin, my Uncle Ronnie was Mr. America."

More STUDY BREAKS to come...

SEXIEST MAN...ALIVE

Sure there can be a "sexiest man" alive. So why am I claiming it should be an oxi-moron? Because when People magazine chooses George Clooney as their Sexiest Man Alive, it is obviously an oxi-moron. WTF? I cant be the only one that doesn't GET IT!! George Clooney? WHY? Were they really tired on the day of the big executive "sexiest man alive meeting?" Did they run out of time and pick names out of a hat? Did George's people call their people and say "do us a favor." I see this as a challenge...find appropriate choices that they could have honored, and make sure they are sexier than their Sexiest Man Alive. Easy Peasy Japaneasy!

UREE's Top Ten List of Sexiest Men Alive...

1. JOHNNY DEPP--THE SEXIEST LONG TERM MAN ALIVE
I shouldn't have to explain this obvious choice but Ill do him justice...cause he deserves it. I have been in love with Johnny since I was 15. Yep that means we have been "together" for 17 years. And you thought I wasn't capable of a long term relationship...TSK TSK. He and I have outlasted Brit Brit and Fed-Ex, Reese and Ryan, Tom and Nicole, and Brad and Jenn. What we have is REAL...and will NEVER die! I remember the first time I saw him...he was being sucked into a bed...ahhhh love at first sight.

2. GALE HAROLD--THE SEXIEST GAY/NOT GAY ALIVE
He makes my inner gay man HARD!! OMG I can watch this man

make out with men all day long! 'Nough said!

3. JAKE SHEARS--THE SEXIEST SISTER ALIVE
Hes hot. Hes flamboyant. Hes a lyrical genius. Hes literate!! *swoons* He can dance his ass off. And he likes to strip down on stage. Could we ask for anything more? Maybe one more show in New Orleans...

4. SEAN WILLIAM SCOTT--THE SEXIEST DUMB-ASS ALIVE
OK so hes not really a dumb ass but he plays such a good one in the movies. I became smitten with him when he spoke so lovingly about his nephews on MTV. Awe...Uncle Stiffler!

5. ANDERSON COOPER--THE SEXIEST DANGER SEEKER ALIVE
Affectionately called "The Coop," Anderson reports from the edge of hell more times than not. He likes to antagonize death...and its fucking sexy!! Oh and lets not forget how he keeps politicians in their damn place! Stay safe dear.

6. CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY--SEXIEST WB ALUM ALIVE
I fell for Chad when he fell for Joey on Dawson's Creek. I admit it; I still take a dive into the Creek whenever I can. Can you blame me...PACEY!!! Oops I got sidetracked...CHAD stole my heart again as the bad-ass-don't-mess-with-my-dumb-sister-hero of House of Wax. He was too damn hott in that movie to be ignored!

7. RYAN PHILLIPPE--SEXIEST CHEATER ALIVE
So he broke Reese's heart? Hes still HOTTER than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire! Id like him to have Cruel Intentions with me...

8. SETH GREEN--SEXIEST GUY YOU ALWAYS FORGET ABOUT ALIVE
Hes hott, there's no denying it! Hes short, red headed, quick tongued and plays an AMAZING James St. James...HOTTTTTT!!

9. LELAND CHAPMAN--SEXIEST BOUNTY HUNTER ALIVE
Honey I think I'm gonna go get a warrant for my arrest in Hawaii just so he can kick my door in...I'm just sayin!

10. JAKE RYAN--SEXIEST TIMELESS MAN ALIVE
We all loved him in Sixteen Candles. All us teen girls had moist panties when we saw his hott lil red car outside that church...then he kissed Molly Ringwald on the table over the cake . *swoons* Hope they didn't burn themselves...YIKES!

11. NICK SIMMONS--SEXIEST BOY TO WATCH ALIVE
Hes the son of Gene Simmons. I cant explain what it is about this kid, but hes HOTT. I love the way he carries himself. Hes confidant, grounded, funny, talented...not at all pompous or arrogant. And most importantly hes easily cuter than his dad EVER was.

There you have it...at least 11 other candidates for the honor of SEXIEST MAN ALIVE. I think this easily makes People Magazine the winner of the Moron of the Day Award!