SECRET RUMOR

I not-so-secretly wish this was my postsecret.

GRAPHIC LANGUAGE

LADIES AND GENTS,

This message was left on my myspace magnet panel. Can I just say

I LAUGHED MY GAY LOVING ASS OFF!!!!

Do I really create such panic in the minds of in-bred freaks that

they feel the need to bash me when they don't even know me?

Apparently! *giggles*

The only response I have to Ms. Toronto is

MARRIAGE IS NOT MANDATORY!

Oh and...

GAY MEN DON'T SMELL NASTY!!

FRESH FRUIT

UPDATE: 8:58 WEDNESDAY

We are going home on Saturday. Seems like a lifetime away.

And because we need to laugh our way thru the tears...

Tonight at dinner, my nephew ate a huge bowl of fruit, as he ALWAYS does.

I was so amazed at how much fruit I had seen him eat while evacuated that I commented, "YOU'RE GOING TO TURN INTO A FRUIT!" My brother didnt miss a beat when he replied, "If ANYONE would know THAT, it would be YOU!"

GOD AWEFUL

UPDATE: 2:07pm Sunday

Cell Phone lines are jammed. I cant even check my voicemail.

Marianne is a Po-Dunk town filled with people

who look like they just left church.

YIKES!

WEATHER FORECASTER

I'm safe in Marianna, Florida.

Thats all that really matters.

I'll be in touch.

From Me To You

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent

about things that matter."

~Martin Luther King Jr.

You matter. I matter. We matter.

I'M SO CONFUSED!!!!

SWEET SORROW

I know you feel THIS way...

BUT...YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE!

PARTY MONSTER

The saga known as

BOOOOOOGIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Heres a little story about what happens when

the coon-asses invade Hollywood.

Our first night on the town, we attended a hott lil party dedicated to GO-GO BOYS!!! And to my great shock and amazement, WHO should walk in the door?? MIKE BOOGIE from Big Brother 2 and Big Brother All Stars. Being the hyper, easily excitable, dedicated stalker that I am...lets just say, I tend to stop a room...or a cemetary depending on the day.

Jeez, you cant take us anywhere!

Here, Alexiss gives a grand reinactment for us to watch

over and over again into oblivion. WOOTS!!

James St. James interviewed him after I flipped out. Check it out on The Daily Freak Show.

FRIENDLY DIVORCE

A word of advice...

DRIED CUM WILL NEVER STICK LIKE GLUE!

So with that remember...

WAITING PATIENTLY

STILL WAITING...

CONSISTENT UNCERTAINTIES

You'll never know how I feel.

STRAIGHT HOOK

No one and I mean NO ONE wants to be a gay boy more than ME!!

But this confuses me.

I have never once thought that being a lesbian would make me feel closer to my dream.

HUH...

stolen from PostSecret

Harmless Sin

ACT NATURALLY

OK OK..Ive been very lazy since Mardi Gras has ended. But I have a ton of scrapbooking to do. So heres some videos I shot. I wish I had taken more video but oh well...Relive it and laugh people! HAHAHAHA

ENERGETIC EXHAUSTION

OMG OMG OMG Im alive. Ill be blogging SOON. So dont abandon the Moron. I just really need some sleep...

To wet your pallet...

REAL FANTASY

Ever want to see a gay Brit suck head?

I will be reporting back in a few days with all the horrid details.

SADLY FUNNY

The BEST Year-In-Review I have seen!!! Gotta love Jib Jab!!

SOCIAL OUTCAST

4 days into the new year and I am nominating

K-Fed as Father of the Year!!

Look how he's protecting the wee tots. I think I'm in love!

And on a more asinine note...I think I want to be a paparazzo. It looks like they have way too much fun. AND I CAN DRIVE CRAZIER THAN THAT!! I would have made it around K-Fed!! BOOYAH!

RECENT HISTORY

Another year has passed...JEEZ! So its time for
Uree's Faves, Bests, and Moments of 2007

Best Book of 2007: Freak Show I absolutely LOVED this book. It was so worth the wait. If you haven't read it yet or discovered the amazing brilliance of James St. James, you don't know what you're missing!
Best Movie and Soundtrack of 2007: Across the Universe I was so pleasantly surprised with this film. And so thankful for Alexiss suggesting it. I'm not a fan of musicals and I was never a fan of The Beatles...but this film is one of the best I have ever seen.
Best Song of 2007: Let It Be---Across The Universe Soundtrack

Best Podcast of 2007: Of course it continues to be Calling Long Distance!! Easily the funniest duo since Martin and Lewis! Catch up with them weekly as they podcast from London and San Francisco AT THE SAME TIME!! I LOVE THESE BOYS!!

Best New Find of 2007: The Daily Out Cast Jonathan found a day job. And of course he's my favorite!! Tune in daily for the sound of that sexy voice! Craziest Adventure of 2007: Back in March I took the trip of a lifetime with someone we will refer to as ASSHOLE. We followed the Scissor Sisters to 6 shows from Chicago to Houston. I cannot even put into words how much FUN we had...so I wont even try. TRUST ME!!! Groupie life is a BLAST!!
Craziest Weekend of 2007: James St. James came to Dallas to party with my crew. I adore him!! Such an example of graciousness and glamour. I cannot wait to relive this adventure when he arrives for Mardi Gras 2008.Saddest/ Most Infuriating Realization of 2007: The ASSHOLE and I are no longer friends because he is a heartless, unfeeling, selfish CUNT! Oh and by the way, I WANT MY MONEY!!! Uree is now taking applications for main fag...Best Video of 2007: Do NEVER mess with the HAG known as Uree... This video may be purchased for $1100.

Most Heart Warming Moment of 2007: I was the only witness to my grandmother's last rites. I'll never forget the connection I felt to her in that moment.

Hardest Decision of 2007: I left the classroom this year for a position at our Central Office. I'm pretty confidant that I made the right decision. I miss a few aspects of teaching, mainly my students. BUT there is a mountain of things that I do NOT miss and NEVER will!!! So hooray for Uree's new job.

Favorite Word of 2007: CHUNT!

Favorite Quote of 2007: "FUCK IT! We'll never see these people again!" Machinegunshelly

Most Fabulous Purchase of 2007: Its a toss up as of New Years Eve Eve (yes I meant to type 2 eves!) A couple months ago I happened upon a vintage queen gown from a Mardi Gras Krewe. I was lucky enough to find it while a goober was manning the store. I bought it for $35!!! Its amazingly fabulous!! I mean just look at the fur sleeves!!! :)

Then 2 days ago I found these cat Mary Jane's. I fell in love with them and had to buy them. AREN'T THEY CUTE?!!!!! Guiltiest Pleasure of 2007: Rock of Love! I adored Jess. I was thrilled when Bret picked her. And I was thrilled when she said NO WAY on the reunion show! WOOTS!! Most Attention Diverting Fuck Up of 2007: Nough Said... And the winner of the 2007 Moron Of The Year Award: Britney Spears She has been the World's favorite pastime this year! Keep on keepin on Brit Brit!! Don't know what I'd do without you daily dose of Train Wreck Wisdom and Guidance!!

I hope 2008 tops 2007! Much love to you guys! MWAH, MWAH!